Postpartum Panic: Worrying That the Baby is Lost in the Sheets
Recently, I posted a reel on Instagram about waking up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking that your baby is lost in your bed sheets, even when they are safe and sound somewhere else. This post has received 400,000 views and continues to grow every day. The comments keep rolling in, telling stories of panic.
This anxiety-inducing situation is not something people are often talking about.
Here’s how it goes down: you have finally fallen asleep when out of nowhere you wake up in extreme panic tossing the sheets off the bed. You’re convinced that you fell asleep with the baby in your arms and they are suffocated somewhere in the sheets.
After stripping your bed and waking up your partner, you realize the baby is safe asleep in whatever sleep contraption you have.
You breathe an unbelievable sigh of relief.
You think about what just happened, feel crazy, and now you need to calm yourself down in order to go back to sleep.
This is unfortunately a common postpartum experience.
Let’s talk all about it.
You’re Not Crazy
You might feel crazy but you are not crazy. This most often happens from immediately after birth to eight months postpartum and you are absolutely not alone.
At this time postpartum you are most likely sleep deprived, experiencing a dramatic shift in hormones, and tasked with the most important job of caring for a little tiny human who you just met (what feels like) yesterday. These are all things contributing to this middle of the night panic.
Think about the level of importance that’s placed on safe sleep as well. We are given pamphlets, made to watch videos, and talk about it with the pediatrician. This puts so much pressure on us as moms because it’s so terrifying to think of the potential consequences. While safe sleep is important to talk about, we can’t ignore that this pressure contributes to the anxiety we feel.
Does This Mean I Have Postpartum Anxiety or Postpartum Depression?
The short answer is no, having this experience doesn’t automatically mean anything about you. However, this absolutely is an anxiety response and should be looked at within the bigger picture.
Take a minute to reflect on whether you are experiencing any of the following in addition to your midnight panic:
Persistent sadness
Lack of connection with your baby
Lack of appetite
Difficulty falling or staying asleep (not because of time spent with baby)
Difficulty concentrating
Thoughts of harm to yourself or your baby
Thoughts that your baby would be better off without you
Uncontrollable worry about your baby’s safety or well-being
Difficulty shutting your brain off
Feeling restless
Racing thoughts
Worst case scenarios playing in your head
This is not a comprehensive list. The purpose of this list is to look at the bigger picture. Are you experiencing that middle of the night panic and some of these other symptoms? If the answer is yes, then you might be dealing with PPA or PPD.
What’s Going On Here?
During this time postpartum, your brain is most likely in overdrive. Mostly, in an attempt to keep your baby safe. This is a great thing our brain does naturally but oftentimes, the overdrive is the unhelpful part. Our brain overestimates the threat to a certain extent.
Even while you’re sleeping your brain might still be on high alert trying to detect any perceived danger.
Secondly, during this early postpartum period everything tends to blur together.
Did I actually change that diaper or am I thinking of the last one?
How long ago did she eat? Am I thinking of last time or the time before that?
He drank 3 oz., am I remembering that right?
Did I really put him into his bassinet? Am I remembering that right?
Your mind starts to play games with you a bit and it creates a lot of confusion. No wonder we are waking up in a panic, because we don’t even know what day or time it is!
How to Help
Tell Someone
First things first, tell someone this is going on. I know it might be scary and vulnerable but sometimes just saying these things to another human can release some of the anxiety.
Use Visual Cues
It can be helpful to use some type of visual indicator when the baby is in their safe sleeping place (a soft nightlight or a certain item next to you). When your anxiety wakes you up in a panic, looking at the visual reminder may help to remind you of your routine.
Set the Scene Before Bed
I know you are postpartum and probably just surviving, but hear me out. Create a small routine before bed to create even a tiny sense of calm and safety in your body. This might look like a quick meditation, some affirmations, or 10 minutes of reading. This will help your brain go to sleep in a more relaxed state.
Grounding Exercises
When you wake up in that panic turn to grounding skills to reorient yourself back to the present moment. Your brain just took you on a wild worst-case scenario ride and it needs to come back to earth.
Grounding skills are anything that pulls you into the present moment – think of using your five senses to ground yourself or doing a guided meditation or having some sensory item next to your bed to utilize.
You are a Rockstar Mom
Here’s your reminder that having this experience does not mean anything about you as a mom. It actually means you care so deeply about your baby and that shows us what a phenomenal mom you are.
Please remember that it will not always feel like this. This feeling is temporary and both you and baby will get better quality sleep with time.
The next time you wake up in a panic at 2am, throwing the sheets off the bed, with a deep sense of dread, know that other mamas are doing the exact same thing all around you and you are not alone.
Additional Support
If you want or need additional support through your postpartum journey, Julianne Peters is here to help you! Reach out here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call in order to work with Julianne.
